Mr Wrong… for all the Right reasons!

When I grow up I am going to marry Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. Every girls dream man! Tall, intelligent, handsome, mysterious and he has an endless supply of roses! The original Bachelor ladies. Except he is actually loyal, he doesn’t mack on twenty other women at the same time and, there are no rose ceremonies! What more could a girl want? Apart from the whole human aspect that is… He is perfect!

In all seriousness though, the chances of us finding Mr Right are as close to, or as legal as my chances are of marrying Tuxedo Mask. Too many of us have a checklist that we try and measure our men up against, if he doesn’t fit perfectly, he just isn’t right. Who are we? Goldilocks?

I don’t know who said that I was allowed to have this checklist in the first place. You know the list I’m talking about. The one we gathered around the playground to make, giggling and turning red (figure of speech…I just giggle, this skin only knows two shades, brown and browner!) then when that cute boy came around we’d hush our friends as we wrote, crossed and circled… deciding the fate of our futures! The same list where I would write down all the things I want in a man and why not add the material things too. The kind of car, where we would live and how many babies we will have (Yes guys, some of us plan these too)…and miraculously the right man would waltz in and sweep us off our feet. I know that if a man tried to sweep me right now, he’d probably break his back! She big boned… yeah right!

But really… Don’t put me down for cardio!

Seriously ladies, how crazy is that? Let me throw this out there… Mr ‘Right’ does not exist and while we’re at it, Miss Right doesn’t either. But, ‘Real’ men do! Ones with character, experience, a little rough around the edges maybe, but hellooo… they have a heartbeat and are right in front of you! That’s more than I can say about Tuxedo Mask… sigh.

Today was orientation week at Uni. A few people asked me what my background was. Made me think about when I finally go on a date and he asks about my background.

Him: Where are you from?
Me: Samoa. (In the back of my mind… Yes mister, you don’t date me. You date my family, my village, my culture… my mother!)

So, yes you read it correctly. I am searching for Mr Wrong and no, I have not lost my mind. It is as simple ladies as demanding more from myself, before I start demanding things from others. Until I become perfect, I am leaving my list where it belongs. In my memories box to collect dust, along with all my misconceptions and disillusionments about love, and there are a lot!

I’ve heard so many girls say a guy was too nice and that’s why they broke things up. What planet are we living on where nice becomes a bad thing? Okay we may need a spark, but have we ever thought that when the 5th guy was just too nice for us that we may/are the common denominator? In the words of Queen B herself, the nice guy will be ‘the best thing ‘we’ never had.’

While we are on song lyrics I had an epiphany earlier today… while I was sitting on the toilet. Yes, don’t judge… all my great ideas come to me while I sit on my throne. Anyway, I was sitting there and I realised that I was singing. Yes, I italics ‘singing’ because any musical talent didn’t just skip, but pole-vaulted right over me. I am talking as skilled as it takes to make a baby cry… so skilled that barking dogs would probably answer my call. The song was…

“I can’t make you love me, if you don’t…”

Then it hit me, and it wasn’t just the curry I had the night before. I can only control what I do, whether someone falls in love with me or not, is their choice… But why they wouldn’t I have no idea haha. So this is me throwing the list away and letting go…

Now just to find my Mr Wrong who will hopefully love me and my perfect imperfections… Come to think of it, John Legend will do just fine.

Huntress Note: Thank you all for the love and support from those who don’t have the choice and those who have joined the journey for a good laugh. Like, hate, comment, criticise… thank you for making me smile and cry haha all smiles thus far.

Yours,